Waiting To Act by Gary O. Bennett
INT. BACKROOM IN RESTAUARNT
IRIS and MARGARET are wearing waitress uniforms. Margaret
appears to be getting ready to pack up and leave. Iris
drinks a cup of coffee and struggles trying to light a
cigarette, but fails.
MARGARET
I feel like I could vanish and no one
would even notice…not for a few weeks
anyway.
IRIS
You blame people for that, You disappear
and then suddenly show up. Of course
people aren’t going to notice.
MARGARET
I don’t disappear. I do things. I have
things to do.
IRIS
Like come to this job.
MARGARET
This is not a job. This is a shuttle
bus. I shuttle food from the asshole
cooks to the asshole yuppies. A job is
something with fullfilment.
IRIS
We won’t be working here for ever. I’ve
got interviews set up. And you’ve got
that recommendation.
MARGARET
I have bigger plans. I’m a performer.
IRIS
Excuse me?
MARGARET
Drama’s in my blood.
IRIS
Do you mean you’re a drama-queen or an
actress?
MARGARET
Actor. I hate the word “actress”…like
it it means anything to place gender on
the term. Actor.
IRIS
I didn’t know you were an
actress…actor.
MARGARET
Watch this…and tell me how I’m emoting.
Margaret puts on a big smile.
IRIS
What am I supposed to say?
MARGARET
What was that? What state of being was I
in?
IRIS
Goofy.
MARGARET
Happy. I was happy. Now this.
Margaret puts on somekind of “upset” face.”
MARGARET (cont’d)
So?
IRIS
Scared?
MARGARET
Sad. That was sad. Do you need glasses.
Try this.
Margaret is genuinely mad.
IRIS
That was angry.
MARGARET
It’s the training.
IRIS
Training?
Margaret hands Iris her headshot.
MARGARET
Strasberg. Four years.
IRIS
This doesn’t look like you.
MARGARET
Do you like the name?
IRIS
“Camille Cappellini.”
MARGARET
It picks up on my Italian heritage.
IRIS
I think your real name is fine.
MARGARET
Margaret Schwartz? When you say
“Schwartz” it sounds like your sneezing.
Everybody keeps saying guzzuntheit to me.
IRIS
You know my sister is an actress.
MARGARET
Has she been in anything?
IRIS
She takes classes.
MARGARET
Yeah, I’m beyond the class thing. Is she
pretty?
IRIS
Yeah, of course she’s pretty. She’s my
sister. She looks like me.
MARGARET
I had an audition today.
IRIS
How did it go?
MARGARET
I got the part.
IRIS
Really.
MARGARET
A small part. I don’t actually say
anything. I come on stage and some
character shoots me and then I lie on the
stage floor for about ten minutes.
IRIS
You have to lie there dead for ten
minutes?
MARGARET
Yeah. It’s very demanding. I’m doing
research.
IRIS
What? To know what it’s like to be dead?
MARGARET
Acting is a craft, Iris. It’s not like
this bullshit.
IRIS
Where is the play?
MARGARET
It’s off-off Broadway.
IRIS
One of those out of town things?
MARGARET
I didn’t say it was out of town. I said
it was off off Broadway. That’s in
Manhattan. You have to say off off off
off Broadway for it to be in Jersey or
Queens or Pennsylvania.
IRIS
OK. OK. That’s good.
MARGARET
Yeah it’s good. You don’t have to be so
obviously jealous.
IRIS
I’m not jealous, Margaret. I have no
interest in being an actor.
MARGARET
It’s a good thing. You don’t have the
imagination for it.
IRIS
Thanks.
MARGARET
See you tomorrow.
Margaret leaves. Iris stands there alone. The lighter
finally lights, but only after she had tossed her unlit
cigarette ion the floor.
THE END.
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