Egg Yoke Erection by Gary O. Bennett
INT. LIVING ROOM
MAURICE sits in a chair looking dejected. He is holding a
small prescription bottle. NINA sits opposite him. Both are
in their wardrobes.
MAURICE
Each of these pills cost $13.25.
NINA
Maybe you have to take more than one.
MAURICE
It says take one pill no more than two
hours and not less than 30 minutes before
intercourse.
NINA
Take another one. Let’s see what
happens.
MAURICE
Is it that important to you? You want to
risk my health just for…just for…
Maurice places his head in his hands, upset, killing a cry.
NINA
Maurice…I’m kidding. It’s not that
important.
MAURICE
It’s not that important! It’s not that
important! You want kids…I want
kids…we both want a normal sex life.
What do you mean it’s not important?
NINA
OK. OK. OK. Calm down.
MAURICE
You’re going to leave me. You’re going
to leave me.
NINA
I’m not going to leave you. We’ll find
some other way…we’ll…we’ll get
inventive.
MAURICE
What do you mean inventive? How do you
get inventive with something doesn’t
work? It’s not like I can just change
the batteries.
NINA
I think I read in Entertainment Weekly
that there’s an operation that you can…
MAURICE
An operation? You read about an
operation in Entertainment Weekly? Is
that what this has come to?
NINA
Maurice, would you relax. That’s you’re
problem, you don’t know how to relax.
Maurice doesn’t respond. He is too upset.
NINA (cont’d)
Listen…I saw a movie several years ago.
It was a Japanese film. They did
something in that film I’ve always wanted
to do.
MAURICE
What?
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN
Maurice and Nina stand in the kitchen. There is a bowl of
eggs in front of them.
NINA
OK. Now you have to trust me on this.
I’m going to break an egg…
MAURICE
Wait…wait, are you telling me all I
need is an egg?
NINA
No…listen…you’re not going to eat it.
OK. I’m going to break an egg, remove
the white gooey part and separate the
yoke, keeping it intact. I’m then going
to put the yoke carefully in my mouth
without breaking it and then I’m going to
kiss you and pass the yoke fully intact
to your mouth…which you will take into
your mouth and then pass back to me fully
intact. The yoke will pass back and
forth and back and forth until it breaks.
MAURICE
Yeah. Then what?
NINA
That’t it.
MAURICE
What does that have to do with my
problem.
NINA
Trust me. Just trust me for once. OK.
Maurice acknowledges some begrudging trust. Nina breaks an
egg, separates the yoke and places it in a glass.
NINA (cont’d)
Ready?
Maurice nods in the affirmative. Nina places the yoke in her
mouth and kisses Maurice, passing the yoke into his
mouth…the yoke breaks. Maurice wipes up the mess.
MAURICE
So what was that supposed to prove?
NINA
No…we have to pass it back and forth at
least three or four times before it
breaks.
Nina again breaks an egg and separates the yoke. She puts
the yoke in her mouth and kisses Maurice. They pass the yoke
back and forth several times, Maurice and Nina getting
increasingly excited. When the yoke breaks, they both seem
to climax.
MAURICE
Oh my god. Oh my god. It worked. It
worked.
Nina opens Maurice’s bathrobe and looks down.
NINA
Wow. That’s really something.
MAURICE
God, I love you.
They embrace and kiss.
NINA
Let me break another egg.
FADE TO BLACK.
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