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Sunny Day In Bosnia by Gary O. Bennett

Tuesday September 12th 2006, 4:51 pm
Filed under: Very Short Scripts

EXT.  BOSNIA HILLSIDE  DAY

            The frame is filled with blue sky and hills in the
            background.  The CAMERA is very close to the ground.
            Suddenly KATIE comes into frame, plopping on the ground.  She
            holds a rifle and wears a US Army helmet and fatigues.  The
            white lettering “UN” is taped to the helmet.  Dust flies into
            her face, which doesn’t please her.  BRIGIT then falls into
            frame.  Brigit too holds a rifle and wears a similar US Army
            helmet that is too big for her head.  Brigit looks over the
            hill toward the CAMERA and appears confused.

                                BRIGIT
                      Where is everybody?

                                KATIE
                      Why are you asking me?  Why are you
                      asking me that question?

                                BRIGIT
                      It’s a reasonable question.

                                KATIE
                      You’re the one who directed us to this
                      spot.  We are here because of you.  Do
                      you know what this means?

                                BRIGIT
                      Katie, what are you getting upset about?

                                KATIE
                      We’re lost, Brigit.

                                BRIGIT
                      Well, you know.

                                KATIE
                      I know what?

                                BRIGIT
                      It’s a beautiful day.

                                KATIE
                      This is not Kansas.  We’ve got Serbs
                      somewhere over there, and Croats over
                      there, and Muslims behind us.

                                BRIGIT
                      No, the Serbs are there, Katie.

                                KATIE
                      Does it matter.  We’re surrounded.

                                BRIGIT
                      Well, yeah, but our division is supposed
                      to be right there, so we’re not
                      completely surrounded.

                                KATIE
                      But it’s not there, now is it?

                                BRIGIT
                      Maybe it’s our division that’s lost, and
                      not us.  Did you ever think of that?

                                KATIE
                      Why did they put us together?

                                BRIGIT
                      We asked to be together.

                                KATIE
                      What was I thinking when I joined the
                      Army?  What was I thinking?  The Navy.  I
                      should have joined the Navy.  At least
                      you can get a little sun and fresh air
                      and see whales.

                                BRIGIT
                      And icebergs.  Didn’t you see Titanic?

                                KATIE
                      What do we do now?

                                BRIGIT
                      I’m hungry.

                                KATIE
                      We ate rations an hour ago.

                                BRIGIT
                      Yeah, but we’re out.  There’s a town over
                      there.  Maybe we can find a grocery
                      store.

                                KATIE
                      You know the rules.  We can’t just waltz
                      into a Bosnia grocery store and buy…and
                      buy Velveeta cheese.

                                BRIGIT
                      You think they have Velveeta cheese here?

                                KATIE
                      Brigit, you have to get into battle mode,
                      not shopping mode, OK?

            A moment passes.

                                KATIE (cont’d)
                      Do you think you should look at the map
                      again?

                                BRIGIT
                      We don’t have to.  Look.

            Brigit points to a spot in front of them.  Katie looks.

                                BRIGIT (cont’d)
                      I told you we’d find our division here.

                                KATIE
                      That’s not our division, Brigit.  None of
                      the vehicles are white.  There’s no UN
                      patch anywhere.  Those are Serbs.

                                BRIGIT
                      How do you know they’re Serbs?

                                KATIE
                      Or they could be Croats…I don’t know.
                      Does it matter?

                                BRIGIT
                      OK.  OK.  So what do we do?

                                KATIE
                      What does the field manual say?

                                BRIGIT
                      I didn’t read the field manual.

                                KATIE
                      Christ, did you do anything you were
                      suposed to?

                                BRIGIT
                      Did you read the field manual?

                                KATIE
                      Yes.  Sort of.  But I’ve forgotten what
                      it says about when you get lost and then
                      confront the enemy.

                                BRIGIT
                      I knew I would forget all that stuff, so
                      I decided not to read it.

                                KATIE
                      I only forgot it because I didn’t expect
                      to get lost.  I didn’t expect to end up
                      on a goddamn Bosnian hill all alone
                      surrounded by the enemy.

                                BRIGIT
                      You’re not alone, Katie.

                                KATIE
                      Yes.  That’s right.  Your presence here
                      is reassuring.

                                BRIGIT
                      I say we surrender.

                                KATIE
                      What?  Those people will torture us.
                      They’ll rape us, Brigit.

                                BRIGIT
                      Yeah, but they probably have food. 
                      Besides, they’re not going to rape two
                      American women.  They only rape they’re
                      own women.  It would be bad publicity for
                      them.

                                KATIE
                      Oh, you’re going to take that risk so you
                      can have a candy bar?

                                BRIGIT
                      I don’t want a candy bar.

            Brigit pulls out her map.

                                KATIE
                      Shut up.  Just shut up.  We’re going to
                      stay right here.  Got that?

                                BRIGIT
                      OK.  OK.  I was just joking.

                                KATIE
                      This is no joke.  We are in dire
                      circumstances.

                                BRIGIT
                      Dire schmire.  Look, they’re leaving the
                      area.  And the map says that they’re
                      heading for the river.
                      I say  when they are out of sight we go
                      down to…(looking at the map)…we go
                      down to…Do you know there’s a Bosnian
                      shopping mall just a few miles from here.

                                KATIE
                      That’s it.  That’s it.  That’s what our
                      company commander said.  The shopping
                      mall.  We were to meet at the shopping
                      mall.

                                BRIGIT
                      You’re kidding?

                                KATIE
                      No that’s what he said.

                                BRIGIT
                      How do you know it’s this one? (pointing
                      to the map)

                                KATIE
                      You think there’s more than one Bosnian
                      shopping mall?

                                BRIGIT
                      Well, I would hope so.

                                KATIE
                      Come on, there out of sight.  Let’s go.

                                BRIGIT
                      Katie.

                                KATIE
                      Yeah?

                                BRIGIT
                      Are you mad at me?

                                KATIE
                      No.

                                BRIGIT
                      We’re still friends?

                                KATIE
                      Of course.  Come on.

            Katie gets up and walks off.  As Brigit rises, she fires off
            one last remark.

                                BRIGIT
                      Do you think the mall is open on Sunday?

                                                                THE END.

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